If There’s Time

We chose Austin’s 2005 Honda Pilot that his family gifted him for Christmas. It was a rare occasion for all of us to fit in one car. We last saw each other earlier this past summer. Some of us had already returned back to college, but those who remained — Austin, Helene, Julia, Mary, Arman, Michele, Lucy and me — wanted to drive up together at least one more time before we left, too.

Arman jumped in the car seconds after he parked out front of Michele’s house. The sun was setting and traffic was starting. Mill Valley was our favorite route. It was the most scenic, and it was usually the fastest.

Lucy, sitting in the window seat of Austin’s Honda Pilot.

Me, talking with Helene (left) while on the car ride up.

Historically, Austin was the group DJ. He always knew what we wanted to hear. All of us had been on a house music wave, and we insisted on listening to some of our favorite EDM artists.

We were on our way to our favorite spot on earth: Bolinas Ridge, a small slice of Mount Tamalpais State Park in Marin County, California — directly across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco. Sixty percent of the county is undeveloped, much of which is set aside as open space preserves and national monuments. 

The southernmost part of the county is home to towering coastal redwoods, rolling hills and deep valleys. Out west toward the Pacific Coast, Bolinas Ridge rides along the San Andreas fault and separates Mount Tamalpais from Stinson Beach. 

The westward view from Bolinas Ridge overlooking Stinson Beach and Bolinas bay. Behind Bolinas Ridge lies Mount Tamalpais.

Tall grass covers the hills where trees have yet to take root. Trails weave from the shoreline over the mountain and down to the other side of the peninsula. On some of the rare days when the fog and rain clear up for a few hours, we take the 20- or 30-minute drive to watch some of the most breathtaking sunsets we’ve ever seen.

Bolinas Ridge is also home to some of my favorite memories. My friends and I began visiting later in high school, and we made it a point to Snapchat our friends with other priorities. It was never out of pity. We wanted to show everyone else the fun and love we shared together.

The place has since become synonymous with our friendship. An afternoon at Bolinas Ridge typically preceded a night of playing Mario Kart 8 and eating Sol Food at Michele’s house. Those who finally finished work or a school project eventually joined us, and we all spent nights together laughing and talking about the next time we could do it all over again.

High school ended, and our trips to Bolinas Ridge became infrequent. We seized every opportunity we had, but our breaks rarely lined up, or we found internships in other cities, or we had to work late. It wasn’t worth going without a good chunk of us. It didn’t feel the same.

But enough of us were home that day to make the trip worth it — not nearly the whole 15 or so — but enough to make it feel like high school again.

(From left to right): Helene, Mary, Austin, Lucy, Julia and Arman hopping out of the car to start our evening. (Not pictured: me and Michele.)

All of us, now with Michele in the front.

We had a little less than 30 minutes before the sun set. So, we did what we normally did. Austin played more music. Arman sat on a distant rock and took in the view. Michele shot photos, and we all took turns being the subject.

Austin, taking a pause in a conversation.

Arman, on top of the boulder and watching the sun move.

Me and Michele.

Lucy, naturally being a model.

Bolinas Ridge offers us a lot more than a good place to take pictures. The hills give us a unique opportunity to reflect on our growth as friends and adults. Many of us first met one another in seventh or eighth grade, and when we return to Bolinas Ridge, we still see some of the truest forms of ourselves. 

The familiarity of the ocean and trees remind us of when we were still together. We know each other inside and out, so there is never a reason for us to hide anything. I have had some of my most introspective, honest conversations while watching the sun move across that horizon. The space, the beauty — and most importantly, the people — make me feel free of constraints, eternally accepted, and loved.

We talked about how much we missed Isabel, Weston, Carl, Austin Stengle, Colin, Cole and Alicia. We sent them a Snapchat hoping it would bring a smile to their faces, a sense we are thinking of them, and a reminder of how much we love them.

Arman, Julia and Austin sharing a hearty laugh.

Arman, Helene and me.

Some people often forget the non-environmental benefits of preservation and conservation. Open spaces like Bolinas Ridge do much more than keep what remains of our planet intact — they give us an opportunity to become our most uninhibited selves. 

I cherish every return to Bolinas Ridge. The place has become synonymous with my best friends, and I can rarely think of one without the other. Every memory about those sunsets reminds me of the most important people in my life, my gratitude for them and how they shaped me into who I am today.

The view looking south from Bolinas Ridge toward the rest of Marin County.

The sun finally set, so we walked back to Austin’s car to escape the cold air coming in from the ocean.

Austin drove us to the photography shop so Michele could develop her film. It is impossible to capture the energy we share at Bolinas Ridge, but these pictures do a damn good job of capturing the laughs, views and happiness.

After Michele came out of the shop, we went over to Sol Food to pick up dinner. We took our sandwiches, plates and drinks to go back to Michele’s house — just like we always did. We laughed and talked while we ate, but we were still wishing for the next time more of us would be together.

Photos courtesy of William Kosinski